I had to do my genealogy. I just had to. It's so easy now ... the internet makes it a matter of following up a few files and entering it into a database. It was seductive. Even inviting. I admit it. I knew a lot of it from pre-internet days, of course, back when you had to buy floppy discs with database information (or even earlier on, print-outs and books). I knew some of my lines completely, all the way back to the UK. But I HAD to finish up the last ones. I had to. And so I learned the awful truth.

OHMYGOD, I MAY BE RELATED TO MIKE HUCKABEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Deep breathy sob)

Okay, I'm related to a lot of troublemakers, but they're all people with a certain historical panache (as in style and grace, not plume on a helmet). I'm descended from William Tyndale's sister Margaret (the one who jumped ship). I've got some unpopular US political folk and some disgraced Royalty in there stinking up the family tree along with a whole ton of regular schmucks. But a HUCKABEE? Or a HUCKABY???? McNairs, McCools, MacGuffeys, O'Dooles, Tanners, Grahams, Salisburys, Fullers, Wilsons, Davises, Brays, Plants, Kirkpatricks, Dillards, Stocktons, Moores, Cargiles, Taylors, and lots more ... all fine. But a Huckaby? And an ARKANSAS Huckaby to boot???

I comfort myself with the knowledge that there had to be more than one "Huckaby" that came over from England. And it's not a direct line, thank heavens. And, really, Arkansas is a big state, right? (SOB ... it's not that big ...)

With that, I leave you to the words of the great Lewis Black.

But really, you don't have to leave Mike alone -- I suggest attacking him with great vigor and pitchforks (okay, not literally attack, but you know what I mean).